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FIRST RATE TAKE · TEAM CLIP · 0:24

Glass Factory

Congratulations on your mouse working

Dwayne Patterson · Draft-night special

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Dwayne Patterson. First overall. Nikola Jokic.

Congratulations on your mouse working.

You finished twelfth last season. The draft has now handed you Jokic, followed by Anthony Davis and Austin Reaves.

The app gave you a Ferrari. Please don't reverse it into twelfth place.

And we're keeping Glass Factory. With this much talent, any collapse should at least make a satisfying noise.

Recorded October 18, 2026, using the completed draft and verified 2024–2026 league history. Contains strong language. This first release retains its original spoken SmackDown opener.